Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
A bitchslap is in order.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
