: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My vagina just recognized that song.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
