You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
