no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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