Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
