Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
whose parrot is this?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
