whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
