Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is wine microwaveable?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
