It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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