I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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