im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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