You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
