when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
