Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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