this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
