I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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