Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
