She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize