Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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