That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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