I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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