Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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