If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
