Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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