I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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