i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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