No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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