is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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