Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
