I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
