Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
