I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
