I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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