When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
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I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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