it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
