Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
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As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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