girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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