I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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