I will die if light touches me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize