Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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