Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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