Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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