I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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