so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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