I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
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