i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
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how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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