just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize