Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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