I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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