I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
