R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
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I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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