my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Mom said you looked used
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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