ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
