Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
