also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
