"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
