**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
where am i from again
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
