Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
