I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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