absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't think brook has ever known best
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
