Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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