My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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