Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
