yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
