I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
